Dickburqa

I Drew This

I Drew This

Fuck you, Facebook

Hey "Internerd"

Go fuck yourself.

John Singleton directed Boyz N The Hood. He got a Best Director Oscar nomination for that piece of shit. Remember when Cuba Gooding Jr. spazzes out? Well he WON a fucking Oscar, though not for punching the air and crying histrionically while a pre-mustache wax Nia Long just stands there like a sack of potatoes.

And you know where I got this image from? I stole it from someone else's website. They probably worked real hard on it and I just fucking stole it. And what? I like that other people in this world work hard while I just walk up and steal their shit. It's like if some little kid came home with a dumb piece of shit ashtray he made out of Play Doh and he was really proud of it and I was like "Hey watch this" and I made him watch while I raped it on the living room floor. And I'd still rather watch that than sit through Boyz N The Hood again. Not Poetic Justice though. I love that ignorant shit.

I bet Janet Jackson's vagina is the kind of person that lets little kids blow out her birthday candles because it's, you know, more fun for them.

Magazine Style Retraction

Hello.

So it turns out I was wrong. I believe Dr. Hughes was in fact pointing out that it would be erroneous to label a koala as a bear--just as it would be erroneous to label a rose as a tulip. I read it too quickly, and I made a huge error that makes me look even stupider than I am. So I retract the whole thing about the bear/marsupial gaffe; it was I who in fact gaffed.

That said, I stand by my closing argument ("Fuck you, Stephen Hughes."). In fact, I drew a picture:

In this picture, a cat has climbed up a tree and is dropping shit pellets on Dr. Hughes' fat bald head. He is wearing pumps that feel like sneakers because I bet those are just catching on now in Australia. There is also a dumpster full of human body parts and dead birds; I assume that one of his forebears made a fortune in the dumpster trade, which in turn allowed his son to be such a soft, pudgy lameshit dickwad "academic". Listen, mister: you may be hot shit in Brisbane, but to the rest of the world you're that girl in the porno who gets jizz on her face and breaks out in hives and has to leave the 'biz and then gets really fat and becomes a physics teacher. 

NB: I drew that picture while taking a shit.

Dicktionary

Apparently the Oxford English Dictionary has had the wrong definition of the word "siphon" for almost 100 years. The efficacy of a siphon, according to the OED, was dependent on atmospheric pressure; in actuality, a siphon works because of gravity. Stephen Hughes, a professor somewhere, discovered the error and said this (probably anticipating that many people wouldn't give a whit about the mistake):

"We would all have an issue if the dictionary defined a koala as a species of bear, or a rose as a tulip."

This would be all well and good if a koala were actually a bear. As it stands, however, a koala bear, nomenclature be damned, is actually A FUCKING MARSUPIAL.

So congratulations, asshole--you found someone who cares about the error. Funnily enough, though, I wouldn't have cared at all if you hadn't made such a stupid mistake. I respect your efforts to rectify a long-held and widely published error, but you don't have to be such a dick about it. That's like the first thing they teach you in school--a platypus lays eggs even though it's a mammal (did you know it's venomous, too?), a female hyena has an enormous clitoris (or "mock penis"), and a koala bear is actually a marsupial.

Fuck you, Stephen Hughes.